My Ironic Fear

my ironic fear by meagan moon . moon & rock blog

 

If we aren’t creating and connecting, then what are we doing? My love gave me this powerful reminder today, after a few weeks of me feeling completely paralyzed and wholly unable to make a decision or move forward with any of my dreams, out of the ironic fear that doing too much will make me depressed. After a past of burning myself out on working and partying way too hard — just pushing through when I know I need rest — I’ve got some kind of ptsd that today, chokes my creativity and ability to show up for life when I truly feel called. I once created and manifested so much that was so out of alignment with my intuitive needs, that today, I can be overly cautious in taking time to be sure that what is I’m creating is of value and authentic to who I Am. Just being honest in telling you that for me, it’s a big balance. Putting myself out here to create and connect is not a light matter in my life. I do it because there is so much within me that desperately wants to be shared — it all feels like another entity that just wants to come through me (metaphorically, and literally). And I do it because there are so many, too many to name, beautiful humans out there who have done the same and completely altered my reality, for the better. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them. Social media is epic in that way.

It reminds us that we are so not alone.

There is so much self-motivating talk out there about hustling and working hard and whatever. But I fucking hate the word hustle, because I feel that it can condone irrational, imbalanced work ethic at the expense of our health and intuitive wellbeing. Yes, there is so much that I want to create and so much that wants to come through me at this time. But I’m reminded that it all requires just ONE STEP AT A TIME. No need to get overwhelmed. And my first step: to birth this beautiful new being that’s been growing inside of me for the past 8 months, safely and sacredly. The rest will surely follow. And in the meantime, I’m reminded that just because one big thing is happening, doesn’t mean that the rest aren’t either. There are gorgeous forces behind the scenes at all times, co-creating and manifesting with us what it is that needs to come through. Today, I remember how to trust this. And my intention in sharing all this is that you will again trust this, too. You do not have to put your life on hold out of fear of the mystery of how it’ll all unfold. The lack of unfoldment is bound to be worse than the unfoldment itself, because that is stagnancy and stagnancy creates dis-ease. Stagnancy causes depression, not creation. I talk about this so much in my book Intuitive Alchemy, and it seems that the work of that book is forcing me to embody it again and again. As I write many times in the book, this is a life-long journey. So if you are feeling paralyzed by possibility today, please remember that you are so not alone. Creation and connection are always better alternatives to paralyzing out of fear. Do something today, anything, to work on manifesting the visions that you see. You don’t have to hustle — just listen and respond in the gentle time that you need to.

All that matters is just that you respond. I love you.