Something I Want You to Know


here’s something that I really want you to know . . . just because in supplement of the words I write, and the pictures / Instagram stories I post — about jewelry, and art, and science, and spirit — I convey symbols of a healthy life (growing my own food, sprouting hard-to-pronounce beans, imbibing in medicinal herbs), does not mean that I myself as a physical body am always glowing in “health” or radiating in "purity", or feel like a breathless mermaid 100% of the time. whoa, of course I don't. and it would be absurd for any one of us that expect that from ourselves. I am human, and my body processes its environment (and the consequential environments I’ve put it through in years past) in the same ways that anyone else’s does. I detox in the same ways as every delicate human body — daily. 

after a traumatic, albeit beneficial, health scare three years ago, I set out on a new, intuitive journey into “health” — i.e., consuming (food, drink, art, relationships) in a highly compassionate, divine fashion. I set out on a journey to consuming only that which I felt the upmost drawn to and holistically nourished by. this quickly (read: overnight) manifested as going completely plant-based. having come from an incredibly toxic lifestyle (that I ultimately didn’t even realize was so toxic, but chocked up to “normal”), there’s no wonder that just two years later, I continue to deal with residual detox symptoms and hormonal shifts. as I, breath by breath, change metaphysically, it’s no wonder that breath by breath, I continue to change physically. I have been there and back in knowing that change is the only constant.

and here, this has become my mantra during some of the most difficult days — I continue to rest in knowing that what I am experiencing, how I look, and “who I am” today is radically different than what I was yesterday, and from what I will be tomorrow. how beautiful is that?

and here, I also come to peace with the detox symptoms that my body continues to endure — that which pains me, saddens me, and bothers the most: acne. I had dealt with skin troubles here and there since going through puberty, but I didn’t give it much thought, as it phased in and out before I had the awareness enough to care. yet, since the day that I chose to take care of myself — by feeding myself pure, whole foods and living a pure, whole lifestyle — acne has chosen to erupt itself on my precious skin, pretty relentlessly. seems unfair, right? 

wrong, though. I told myself that lie for far too long, but today, can genuinely express to you how blessed I am to endure such temporary eruptions on my face, as I’ve realized they are my Divine’s way of inspiring me to continue taking care of this sensitive body, and forcing me to see the Beauty and flux nature of absolutely everything. for this, I give a lot of thanks.

I’m not going to mask the sadness that pervades acne, and the embarrassment that often ensues, but I’m also not going to mask the gratitude that I feel for it, and the delicious trust that I have in it all being merely a phase! I am in constant change! some days are beautifully better, some days are significantly worse, but most days these days are just explosive with acceptance and excitement about the detox, and symbiotic health that my body is taking it’s sweet time to come into.

physicality takes it’s sweet time. and I strive to breathe that in and match that surrender through every interaction I have with this world. 

why rush the process (any process)? this moment, acne and all, is as beautiful and complete as any.

are you enduring anything utterly the same? do share. you’re most definitely not alone.

~ Meagan